We all know a few people who seem to have a natural talent for winning people over. They have what we call the “likeability factor”. Their charisma makes us feel comfortable and we are naturally drawn to them. How do they do it? Are they born with it or have they learned to become likeable?
In an article published on Forbes, Dr. Travis Bradberry, author of the best-selling book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 mentions that “In reality, being likeable is under your control, and it’s a matter of emotional intelligence (EQ).”
Emotional intelligence is the skill we use to understand and manage emotions effectively. People with high EQ are skilled at recognizing and regulating their own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. Having high EQ is important when you’re looking for a job but it’s as important while you’re on the job!
If you want to determine how high your EQ is (in other words, how likeable you are!) or if you’re looking for ways to become more likeable at work, here are 7 key habits emotionally intelligent people do as often as every day in the workplace.
7 THINGS HIGHLY LIKEABLE PEOPLE DO
1. They Ask Questions
During a conversation, emotionally intelligent people ask lots of questions to show that not only are they listening, they also care about what you are saying. Asking questions makes people feel comfortable — which in turn results in them opening up and sharing even more. You’ll be amazed how much respect and appreciation you gain from co-workers just by asking questions and genuinely listening to them.
2. They Are Authentic
Nobody likes a fake. In the office, people gravitate toward those who are authentic because they know they can be trusted. It is difficult to like someone when you don’t know if they are being honest about whom they really are and how they really feel. Likeable people are confident and don’t lie about who they are – they are comfortable in their own skin and they don’t try to win people over by pretending to be someone they are not.
3. They Know When To Pause And Reconsider
People with high emotional intelligence will never react impulsively during a high energy or tense situation in the workplace. Instead, they will pause for a short moment to quickly reconsider the facts before reacting.
Here’s the type of things you can consider during a short pause:
- How is the other person feeling right now? Is he or she impatient, anxious, aggressive, stressed, angry, annoyed?
- How am I feeling?
- What can I say to make the other person feel better?
- Can I do something to make the situation better for the both of us?
Taking a short pause will allow you to think objectively instead of saying or doing something you will later regret. You will be surprised at how this habit gets you out of sticky situations while earning the respect of others.
4. They Use Positive Body Language
Don’t underestimate the power of positive body language; it can make all the difference in a conversation. People naturally mirror the body language of the person they’re talking to.
If you want people to like you, use positive body language during a conversation and they will unconsciously return the favour and feel good as a result. Smiling, leaning towards the person who’s speaking, uncrossing your arms and gently patting shoulders are all things you can do to draw people in.
Mastering the use of positive body language is an art; it might seem awkward at first, but practice makes perfect.
5. They Are Open-Minded
Highly likeable people are open-minded individuals who know better than to pass judgement. Being open-minded makes them approachable to others and this means access to new ideas and help. Think of it; nobody likes to work with someone who is judgemental and has pre-conceived opinions about everything and everyone.
To master this crucial skill, you need to be able to see things through other people’s eyes. Simply try to see where they’re coming from, and do your best to understand their point of view. By doing this, you will make others feel liked and respected and they will in time return the favour.
6. They Make Eye-Contact
“If you truly want to connect with someone, look them in the eye. When you fail to make eye contact, you look less authentic, less believable, and less confident. In other words, not very likeable.” says Mitch Goldstein, President of The Mason Group.
On the other hand, when you maintain eye contact, he or she is more likely to look at you, more likely to listen to you, and more likely to engage with you. By making eye contact during conversations, you are simultaneously being confident and empathetic because you are expressing your opinion while observing what your listener’s facial expressions are signaling.
With practice, you can master this skill and turn it into a habit that will serve you well in both your professional and personal life.
7. They Put Away Their Phones
There’s nothing worse than someone checking their phone every five minutes while you’re trying to have a conversation with them. Even a quick glance mid-conversation can turn people off and make you look as if you’re not listening to what the other person is saying.
When you’re talking to someone, you want to focus your full attention on the conversation and ask questions. People will notice your genuine interest and you’ll find that conversations are way more effective and enjoyable as people really open up to you.